People frequently express concerns along the lines of, "What if I was wrong and this person isn’t my twin soul?"

The short answer is:  it doesn’t matter.  The connection will be what it was always meant to be, twin souls or otherwise.

But when you’ve believed with everything in your heart that your soul has found its partner, and then you realize that they don’t feel the same, and all the “signs” you noticed don’t seem to be yielding what you thought they were going to lead to, it can be very difficult to trust your heart, your intuition, and perhaps even the universe again.

Heartache can take time to heal.  I do understand the fear that stems from, “But what if I was/am wrong?”  (I had my own confusion about what synchronicities meant with someone a number of years ago, which you can read about here.)  There’s no easy way to work through the doubts that creep in when we’ve misread something (though these links might help).

But to simplify the situation right now, you have, it would seem, three options:

  1. Assume the universe was lying.  (Which I don’t think is really ever the case, but that’s just my feeling…)
  2. Consider that maybe you simply misinterpreted its messages.  (I think this not infrequently is the case.  The more open you remain to allowing the universe to clarify what it was intending with its previous “signs” and with this connection, the more peaceful you are likely to feel, and the more quickly you are likely to find satisfying answers.)
  3. Consider that perhaps it wasn’t lying AND you weren’t mistaken, but that this situation will just take time to work out.

There’s no way to know for sure, other than what you feel in your heart.  In fact, this is precisely why I always tell people, only YOU can know.  Do not rely on “signs” or any checklist to tell you what you’re working with here, or any external source to “diagnose” it for you.  Whether or not you’ve met your twin flame is NOT something that you figure out by consulting a checklist.  You feel it, right down in the depths of your soul.  Yes, similarities between twin flame connections do seem to exist across many people, but these are not diagnostic criteria.  Don’t let synchronicities become your be-all, end-all factor in determining who you feelthis person is to you, how you feel your souls are bonded on the deepest level.

The twin flame connection is not about seeking external authorities!  A real twin flame connection, being so absolutely grounded in the purest Divine Love (along with many other connections that are not twin flame connections) is meant to anchor you in your heart!

Your heart as your ultimate guide.  Why?  Because we all need to be listening in to our hearts’ most peaceful depths and allowing truth to emerge from there.

How do we know that our heart’s purest center is a solid source of guidance and truth?

Because we are divinity itself; your heart’s guidance is divine guidance.

The trick is being able to separate out your heart’s voice from the voice of fear.

So drop fears.  If questions about “Who is this person to me?” and “What did all the coincidences mean?” are creating more angst for you than empowered, healing guidance, just drop them!  Decide — and you do have the power to decide — that you’re no longer invested in questions.  Any answers you need WILL come to you, if you can relax enough to be open to them, but instead of clinging to things that provoke further fears in the mean time, just let those things go!  Nothing is obligating you to hold on to ideas that don’t currently serve you.  :)

Of course, if we haven’t experienced much of love, relationships, or desire before (either because we’re particularly young, or particularly shy and reclusive, or our previous relationships weren’t so healthy or fulfilling, etc.), then it can be all the harder to figure out what this thing is that we’re feeling because of its personally unprecedented nature.  There are all manner of unprecedented feelings we will experience in interpersonal connections.  That’s just the beauty of being human.  Still, clinging to the labels that we give to these feelings is not going to help us.  If it’s love, we will KNOW.  If it’s a significant soul bond, we will KNOW.  And if it’s desire, well, that may be harder to identify correctly, for reasons of contemporary social conditioning (i.e., lots of people are apt to mistake lust for love, butterflies for “life partner,” etc.), but that’s a whole other topic…

The bottom line is, whatever the case, if you’ve felt a deep, genuine love for this person and a sense that your souls were connected, the person has clearly been a significant soul connection of yours.  Whether they’re your twin soul or not, though, is not really important to identify; “twin soul” is just a label anyway, and the labels we attach to things (or don’t attach to things) won’t really interfere with their actual highest destiny.  That is, whatever the highest good that is meant to come to pass, if it is meant to come to pass, it will.

So drop the worries about whether they’re a twin soul, a soulmate, or anything else.  Drop, also, the questions about which “stage” of the twin flame connection you might be in, if you are twin flames.  None of these things “matter,” in any practical sense.  The connection is, currently, what it is.  Labeling it will not change anything about how it’s currently playing out — you can let yourself off the hook; you don’t need to find hard answers right now.  :)

Some people think, “Maybe the current distance/doubt just means we’re in a separation phase.  How am I supposed to get through this?”  As for what you may be wondering about stages though, remind yourself that twin flame trajectories aren’t strictly linear anyway, and even if you could identify a “stage,” would it mean that you were meant to do something specifically different than at any other?  No!  :)

At all “stages” of anyrelationship, the most that we could be expected to do is:

  • offer unconditional love
  • be lovingly honest and expressive with what we feel
  • respect the other person’s boundaries
  • respect the other person’s path
  • keep working on growing and healing our OWN self and building our OWN happiness and NOT making our interest in / fondness for them the center of our entire life
  • remain surrendered to the very highest good

If they are your twin flame, then something WILL change in this situation, moving in the direction of partnership.  Eventually.  I’m not saying it will happen soon, but it’s at least my personal belief that true twin flames ARE meant to partner.

And so are a lot of people who aren’t each other’s twin flames.  AND a lot of these people will be blissfully happy-as-can-be with one another; they are not losing out on anything.

The label is not going to “create” any given outcome for you.  So recognize that, even if a given person isn’t your twin flame, changes that lead to partnership may still possible.  But the point is not to put your life on hold for this possibility!!!

And if the person isn’t your twin soul, you know what?  Everything will still be fine because you will simply end up with somebody else who makes you even happier.

You can’t lose here, so take heart.

Wishing you all peace, love, clarity, and healing.


This post is the most “practical” and least esoteric in the series, but it still has far-reaching energetic impacts.  It focuses mostly on

Diet and sleep.

Minor points, it would seem, but these are another thing that made a HUGE difference for me.

I noticed that the adult-onset acne and the weight problems went away — rapidly — as soon as I moved to China and had to cut dairy almost entirely out of my diet, due to its general lack of affordability and availability there.  But I never made the connection between dairy and hormonal imbalances until losing 30-35 pounds without trying, and watching my skin “magically” clear up.  That’s when I realized that, well, the dairy I was consuming comes from lactating cattle.  Which means it contains female hormones in bovine-strength concentrations.  I don’t need growth hormone, nor do I need a cow’s share of female hormones.  Much less at lactation levels.

You probably don’t NEED these kinds of hormones added to your system either (I’m no expert though, so take that for what it’s worth…)

BUT I was drinking/eating these without realizing it, and my body wasn’t happy.  Women’s bodies are especially sensitive to female hormones, and my body became much happier — pretty much immediately — when I stopped consuming so many of them from elsewhere.

So observe your diet, figure out where you might be screwing up your female hormone balance through the foods and drinks you consume, and then pay attention to how your body reacts to dietary omissions.  If you try making substitutions, do this independently of the “trials” you run for omissions; you want to isolate effects when you’re doing these experiments, and it’s easiest to isolate effects when you isolate changes, rather than instituting multiple changes at once.

And another important factor:  SLEEP.  Do sleep.  You need rest to keep everything balanced.  I’m not tritely mentioning this, and the only reason I won’t go into discussing the importance of sleep is because it is so OBVIOUSLY IMPORTANT.  You pretty much can’t expect to be long-term healthy — for your body to maintain a balance — if you’re simultaneously long-term sleep-deprived or sleeping by inconsistent schedules.

So sleep right, and see what that does for you.

Neither diet nor sleep appear particularly “spiritual,” but not eating the wrong things, and getting the right quantity of sleep, are both of immense importance to maintaining an energetic balance within your physical body.  Back to the “New Age” stuff in the next post.  For the next couple days though, just think practically about your health as a woman and see what stands to change.

Next post will be about past-life issues and “rejection” of the feminine.

"And when you choose a life partner, you’re choosing a lot of things, including your parenting partner and someone who will deeply influence your children, your eating companion for about 20,000 meals, your travel companion for about 100 vacations, your primary leisure time and retirement friend, your career therapist, and someone whose day you’ll hear about 18,000 times. Intense shit."
— (via justviviann)

(Source: arcticvortex)

"I love kissing. If I could kiss all day, I would. I can’t stop thinking about kissing. I like kissing more than sex because there’s no end to it. You can kiss forever. You can kiss yourself into oblivion. You can kiss all over the body. You can kiss yourself to sleep. And when you wake up, you can’t stop thinking about kissing. Dammit, I can’t get anything done because I’m so busy thinking about kissing. Kissing is madness! But it’s absolute paradise, if you can find a good kisser."
— Sufjan Stevens on kissing.  (via ironworthstriking)

Ugh, paradise, yes, and why are there so few of these?

(Source: alwaysincluded)

Keep in mind that psychic/energetic gifts come in a huge variety of “flavors.” Yours may or may not look like what you assume psychic gifts “should” look like.

For instance, while some people see or hear mystical phenomena with their physical senses, others “hear” things silently, or see with their mind’s eye (inside their mind).

While some “hear” a spirit presence, others might see that presence (in the form of, for example, a sourceless light that moves around a room), feel that presence (e.g., feeling warmth or pressure somewhere on your own physical body, or even just an awareness within your own energy body), or even feel that presences “message,” rather than hearing it.

Some people are adept at reading synchronicities — events that happen in the concrete world, but still, nonetheless, involve heightened intuition in order to be able to perceive and in order to register that gut-level feeling of “I know what this means.”

And this list of examples is just a tiny fraction of what is possible. I’m just offering these examples to reassure you that your gifts are still valuable, even if they don’t match what your preconceptions tell you you “should” be able to do.

Why even care about your gifts? Or why am I trying to “reassure” you?

Because when we embrace our latent gifts, of any type — all of which we were born with for a reason — and we learn how to employ them in highest service for the furtherance of love, joy, light, peace, and healing in this plane, we are embracing most fully what we truly are.

And why not do that?

Don’t dismiss what you do innately have and can effortlessly do, rejecting it in favor of developing some other skill. Rather, embrace what you already can do, and allow yourself and your gifts to develop from there. :)


"I’m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in."

I have no idea what the original context of this photo was, but the quote — the quote is golden.

Ever feel like you’re in a call-and-response with the universe?


Trust the vibes you get, energy does not lie.

Weird.  I was just thinking of a guy I traveled with to Huangshan a few years ago.  At Huangshan, we had seen the mists and talked about how the clouds looked like dragons snaking through the mountaintops.Then, seconds after wondering if I would ever see him again, I saw this picture — looking very much like Huangshan — on my dash.I’m going to not think about this anymore or assume it means anything.  If we’re meant to meet again, I’m certain the universe is capable of arranging it.


Trust the vibes you get, energy does not lie.

Weird. I was just thinking of a guy I traveled with to Huangshan a few years ago. At Huangshan, we had seen the mists and talked about how the clouds looked like dragons snaking through the mountaintops.

Then, seconds after wondering if I would ever see him again, I saw this picture — looking very much like Huangshan — on my dash.

I’m going to not think about this anymore or assume it means anything. If we’re meant to meet again, I’m certain the universe is capable of arranging it.

"Embrace the Goddess and her divine perception of you. Ask her to reveal to you the you she has in mind. Ask her to send you relationships and circumstances that will foster that strength within you, that the world might be blessed by the presence of a woman in her glory. Ask and you’ll receive."
A Woman’s Worth by Marianne Williamson (via pocketmouseposts)