This post is the most “practical” and least esoteric in the series, but it still has far-reaching energetic impacts.  It focuses mostly on

Diet and sleep.

Minor points, it would seem, but these are another thing that made a HUGE difference for me.

I noticed that the adult-onset acne and the weight problems went away — rapidly — as soon as I moved to China and had to cut dairy almost entirely out of my diet, due to its general lack of affordability and availability there.  But I never made the connection between dairy and hormonal imbalances until losing 30-35 pounds without trying, and watching my skin “magically” clear up.  That’s when I realized that, well, the dairy I was consuming comes from lactating cattle.  Which means it contains female hormones in bovine-strength concentrations.  I don’t need growth hormone, nor do I need a cow’s share of female hormones.  Much less at lactation levels.

You probably don’t NEED these kinds of hormones added to your system either (I’m no expert though, so take that for what it’s worth…)

BUT I was drinking/eating these without realizing it, and my body wasn’t happy.  Women’s bodies are especially sensitive to female hormones, and my body became much happier — pretty much immediately — when I stopped consuming so many of them from elsewhere.

So observe your diet, figure out where you might be screwing up your female hormone balance through the foods and drinks you consume, and then pay attention to how your body reacts to dietary omissions.  If you try making substitutions, do this independently of the “trials” you run for omissions; you want to isolate effects when you’re doing these experiments, and it’s easiest to isolate effects when you isolate changes, rather than instituting multiple changes at once.

And another important factor:  SLEEP.  Do sleep.  You need rest to keep everything balanced.  I’m not tritely mentioning this, and the only reason I won’t go into discussing the importance of sleep is because it is so OBVIOUSLY IMPORTANT.  You pretty much can’t expect to be long-term healthy — for your body to maintain a balance — if you’re simultaneously long-term sleep-deprived or sleeping by inconsistent schedules.

So sleep right, and see what that does for you.

Neither diet nor sleep appear particularly “spiritual,” but not eating the wrong things, and getting the right quantity of sleep, are both of immense importance to maintaining an energetic balance within your physical body.  Back to the “New Age” stuff in the next post.  For the next couple days though, just think practically about your health as a woman and see what stands to change.

Next post will be about past-life issues and “rejection” of the feminine.

Now that we’ve talked about what karma is, what it isn’t, and how our souls design ways to work it out all the time — whether we’re conscious of this process or not —

How do we consciously work through karma when we REALLLY don’t want to let it just “sit?”

Good question. It’s great when we have a genuine desire to heal connections and re-balance things! This intention alone will take us very far.

First of all, if someone isn’t receptive to your attempts at loving (or even neutral) communication — don’t worry! Remember, that soul-to-soul communication is always an option. (Posts on how to do this here and here.)

There’s only so far we can ever go with delivering a message to someone’s human self, no matter how pure our intentions are. And that’s okay; it’s their prerogative to decide how they want to respond, and their choice will often reflect any fears they already carry, any life stress they are already dealing with (very possibly unrelated to us completely), etc. This is all understandable. And you are not expected to change that! :)

In the past, when I’ve wanted to speak/clear things up with a person who seemed skittish with me, I’ve resorted occasionally to sending them a letter. Usually a message/email over the internet, but I’ve even been known to send a physical letter too. These are often received as less “intimidating” because the recipients can read and digest them at their own pace and not have to feel the anxiety of face-to-face interactions, where they may be overwhelmed by the question of how to reply, defend their position, explain their behaviors, etc. A letter is a one-sided communication and doesn’t ask for them to explain, defend, etc. So don’t forget that you have this option (if you feel you do), and if you do go this route, just make sure to keep it as loving and peaceful as possible.

If you can’t actually send them a letter but you want to do more than just “beam” love at them, you can create a ritual, such as writing them an unsent letter (and asking your Higher Selves or respective angels/guides to be sure the communication is exchanged in spirit), or talking out loud to their soul, and so on. (Basically, this is what the above links talk about.) These rituals are likely to leave you with a deeper sense of peace if you actually reflect seriously beforehand on what you want to say to them and why it feels important to you to express this. What are you really hoping to resolve? What do you most want to express to them? You might find, as I did once, that once we are clear on what we want to express to a karmic companion, the universe often gives us the chance to say it or otherwise extend our love.

And, by all means, don’t feel like you have to create a ritual — just send love if that’s all you want to do! Sending love is a HUGELY healing gesture!

Every karmic relationship, and every period within any one relationship, is different. Sometimes direct communication will feel important, and others not. Use your discretion, respect any boundaries the other person seems to be trying to maintain, and remember that you always have the option of working things out in Spirit when there’s just no other way.

If you’re going to give it over to Spirit, remember that you can trust that it WILL get resolved; if you need to be in contact or in one another’s lives in any more immediate way, quite simply, you will. But if this is not happening, you can trust that your intention to clear any lingering karmic imbalances, in a loving way, is enough. This is not the kind of thing that we “fail” on by being unable to “force” the other party to engage, consciously, in human form, with us.

After all, we are meeting karmic soul-connections throughout our lives and healing old wounds with one another without having any idea.

The universe finds ways to help make our healing happen. Why? Because it is us, a boundless unconditional love seeking with its entire being to make itself known to and within and on all levels of itself.

So by all means, embrace your own ability to consciously direct loving intentions, but remind yourself that there is no possibility of outright failure here, and you are not expected to singlehandedly steer things. Just trust that you are exactly where you need to be at any given point in time — and that includes interpersonally.

Like that saying goes, “Everything works out okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”

Don’t stress. Just trust that love will get the job done. :)

As promised, this part will deal with

Modern medicine vs. energy medicine:

Over the years, I was generally very dissatisfied with how the modern medical establishment handled (and sometimes ignored/dismissed/trivialized) my concerns.  I am VERY grateful for modern medicine; it can be life-saving.  However, in the realm of women’s health, it has, thus far, routinely failed me.

In my case, I was put on seven different kinds of hormonal contraceptives, plus a blood sugar drug, ALL of them with adverse side effects and some of which (I found out only after being on them for a while) were downright dangerous (e.g., insanely high levels of estrogen, one drug which has now been linked to an earlier onset of Alzheimer’s, another one with Spironolactone as a semi-“secret” ingredient, in that my doctor just casually prescribed it to me without explaining the potentially life-threatening side effects of that drug — a detail that an endocrinologist who saw me years later was horrified to learn).

In fact, I was on hormonal contraceptives from ages 15 to 22, and it wasn’t until I was 26 that any doctor told me, for the very first time, that I should never have been given hormonal contraceptives to begin with since the Pill would increase my risk of stroke (as a migraine sufferer).  And I’d been getting migraines since middle school, if not earlier.  So there was no reason why I should’ve reached 26 before any doctor would have told me those prescriptions were dangerous for me — related to a contra-indicating condition I had since adolescence.

The moral of this story is a friendly reminder:  Be. Very. Informed.

About anything you ever decide to take.

Honestly, you know what had the most profound, long-lasting, positive impact on my female health problems?  And I was astonished when this happened because I didn’t even expect it, but the answer is… 

acupuncture!

I’d tried the Pill (several times over), I’d tried special diets for women with hormonal imbalances (at my doctors’ recommendations), I’d tried energy healing, I’d tried holistic treatments of various kinds, but literally within just my first month of acupuncture — YEARS after I’d finally stopped taking ANY hormonal contraceptives — my periods started coming regularly, almost exactly four weeks apart, and have been that way ever since.

And I only ever did a few months of acupuncture — but the benefits were long-lasting.  It doesn’t create a dependency.  Because that’s just how Chinese medicine is designed to work.  My medical doctors were stunned that, with no other changes, my cycle became regular for the first time in my life, at age 25.  But I wasn’t surprised once I really thought about it:  I realized that Chinese medicine treats energy imbalances.  Not just symptoms.

And once the root cause of an imbalance has been addressed, the symptoms tend to disappear.  Symptoms are messengers to notify us about an imbalance; once the imbalance is gone, there’s no need for continued messages!  :)

Other issues related to my hormonal problems seemed to resolve in the following years, through reiki; just a few months after starting to work with reiki, I was able to go off my blood sugar medication (which was prescribed for PCOS) cold turkey and for good.  An endocrinologist who examined me had given me the green light on going off the meds and said, “Well… I can’t say that you never had PCOS, but I’m certainly willing to say that you got better.”

I haven’t needed it since.  My weight and skin and periods are all, I’m very grateful to be able to say, normal.

Or, more appropriately, healthyBecause I turned my focus to healing the root, energetic causes rather than just medicating my symptoms.

I’m not at all saying I reject modern medicine; I do not.  I still get women’s annuals, would turn to modern medicine if I needed life-saving measures, and so on.  But I wouldn’t make big medical decisions without seeking second opinions and would generally (unless it was absolutely urgent) try to resolve my hormonal issues through holistic means (namely, tons of personal reflection, self-care, and healthy energy intentions, if not also treatments like reiki and acupuncture) first.

Reflect:  What is your intuition telling you about your body?  You need to do whatever feels most appropriate for you.  Listen to your intuition and to your body just as respectfully as you listen to your doctors.  :)

The next post in this series will deal with health behaviors that might be messing up your body’s energetic and hormonal balance in ways you don’t even realize.

 

Part 1 talked about what karma is, what karma is not, how it serves us, and how it might naturally play out.  But what about when we do something that creates a lot of pain for somebody else?  The topic of this post is:

What happens when we’ve done something unloving?

Well, first of all, we can — once we’ve experienced our paradigm shift and awoken to a new, more loving way of experiencing reality — offer apologies when and where possible, and simply move forward.  We move forward by living our genuine intention to act in more awakened ways.  Living in love ALWAYS helps immensely!

However, sometimes, when we treat others less-than-lovingly and leave them feeling wounded, we are offered the opportunity to “balance that out” by returning to their lives (current or future) in some direct or indirect way and lending our own energies of love to assist them with their process.

When souls with difficult karma come together again, it is because they have, on a soul-level, chosen to do so.  There is no obligation to remain in one another’s lives, though I’ve seen that life will often make these people nearly impossible to “escape”(even if we don’t want to be bothered and would rather move on) if it is in our mutual highest good to learn from and help to heal one another.

And if the universe isn’t ensuring that you find one another nearly impossible to avoid — and if that person isn’t giving you a chance to be in their life — then you can trust that your active presence in each other’s lives is (while not necessarily harmful) not currently a “necessary” part of your mutual highest good; it’s not a necessary part, right now, of working out your karma.  And since we are all One, in the end, what is in the GENUINE highest good of One is in the highest good of all.  So, again, you can trust the process and any current circumstances that appear immutable — even if you KNOW you have karma with this person and aren’t able to get close to them.

So you can relax!

I’ll share a real-life example of how difficult karma was “re-balanced” in my own life:

I once met a guy with whom I quickly became aware of a past-life connection wherein he had played a huge part in some really harsh experiences.  He had no clue about how we were connected in a previous life — didn’t even believe in reincarnation — but we had been brought together with karmic issues, nonetheless.

Even though he was very nice, caring, generous, friendl
y, etc., I struggled with a deep, unprovoked hostility around him for a while.  (It was basically an energetic thing.)  
While I was aware of our previous connection and was willing to “forgive and forget” whatever happened before, not wanting to have to interact with him much (I didn’t want to “cling to the past.”), the universe didn’t exactly allow me to create the distance I wanted.  He and I met because we were NEIGHBORS in this life.  Our schedules coincided OFTEN.  He wasn’t ultimately avoidable.

And I’m very grateful for that.  How did it work out?  Ultimately, I accepted the (re)connection, deciding “You know what?  Maybe the universe really wants us to interact more, and this must be for a reason.”  I got very clear and firm regarding what my boundaries were, and we ended up cultivating a genuine friendship, building a deep appreciation for one another.

In many ways, I feel like “what we were” in this life, as neighbors and friends, helped to heal “what we were” in the previous one; just as in that previous life, he met me when I was in an isolated, poor, and vulnerable period.  However, instead of resorting to old patterns, he was a phenomenal source of emotional (and even practical) support this time around, pulling me into his arms to cry, verbally reminding me of my strengths, taking care of me when I was sick, offering me little treats when he knew I couldn’t afford them (and expecting nothing from me in return), and so much more.

For my part, I was grateful for the opportunity to value and support him too; I didn’t look at our connection from the perspective, “Well, he hurt me big-time back then, so HIS soul owes ME a lot right now!”  I looked at it as, “I have asked him for nothing; I didn’t even expect to MEET him.  So the universe clearly has a reason for placing us together.  Let’s just make this reconnection as kind and mutually respectful as possible and see if we can have good times together in the context of a healthy friendship.”

So I’d suggest you try this:  decide on your boundaries, and then let love direct the show.  Drop all expectations of who owes whom what.

Why look at karma as “he/she owes me?”  Or even “I owe him/her?”

The only way to heal anyone, anyway, is to offer love.  And what better way to balance out karma than assisting in someone’s healing process, or making their learning process more joyful?  What can be a more beautiful, powerful, or effective way of clearing karma than shining love where we haven’t done so before?  

NOTHING says that this love need be one-sided.  Karma is not a debtor.  The more love, coming from all directions, the merrier!

=)

(That is, the more we open our hearts to giving love, the more our hearts are opened as well to receiving love — and the flow of love energy can only assist with any healing we, personally, need in turn.)

The karmic soul connections I’ve met in the past year have had such a liberating effect on me in this life by showing me that love, joy, laughter, and kindness are the ONLY WAY we are EVER expected to treat one another and that karma is not AT ALL about “an eye for an eye.”  What they’ve shown me is that, in a loving universe, no one has to suffer in order to “make it right.”

There’s a song, “Lions in Cages” by Wolf Gang, that reminds me of these karmic connections.  It keeps asking, playfully, “Who’s get up after we’re gone?  Who’s gonna get up after we’ve fallen?  Who’s gonna pick up what we’ve done wrong?…”

And I think those lyrics speak to all of us, the things we’ve lived, the ways our human selves have “messed up” over the ages — and the fact that we are the ones responsible for cleaning up our “messes.”  Who does get up after we’re gone?  Who does pick up what we’ve done “wrong?”

We do.  We are all different faces of one same Oneness, and, therefore, we are the only one(s) who come(s) back to make it right.

WE come back to perfect the love.

Isn’t that a beautiful thought?  We’re not “sentenced” to balancing our karma; we’re doing it because we want to create a more loving reality.  Our souls delight in the task!  :)

And as “Lions in Cages” also says, “the city joins us with hands of grace” — life sort of serendipitously places us in one another’s worlds.  Our meetings may look accidental, but they aren’t at all.

The bottom line is this:

We don’t even have to understand the significance of what we’re doing or who we’re interacting with.  Life will see too it that we get to work out our karma with one another in the most effective, loving way possible!  Even if we have no clue that it is happening!

Another reason why you can relax.  ;)

 

This post deals with

Interpreting the body’s imbalances as “messages” —

Reading Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom by Dr. Christiane Northrup helped set me on the path of reflecting and making connections between my body and the messages my spirit might’ve been trying to send to me through it.  My counselor had recommended this book to me when I was 24 or so.  HUGE book but amazingly informative and approaches women’s health from a holistic perspective.  Also a detail that appealed to my pragmatic, science-respecting self:  Dr. Northrup is, in fact, a doctor (for those of you who care about that kind of thing).

The book trained me to reflect on which life events might have coincided with the onset of some of my issues.  An example:  my periods were always irregular but became WAY more disordered just a month or two after a “friend” took our friendship into sexually abusive territory (and I developed something like Stockholm syndrome and started accepting it…) when I was 15.  That was also when my periods started coming two weeks off, two weeks on, such that I was bleeding for HALF THE TIME during any given month.

Coincidence?

I think not.

The book offers some remedies which may or may not help you, personally, but at the very least, by training you to interpret your body’s imbalances, it will help you feel less helpless and bewildered about everything that’s happening to you, and this — reflection and empowerment — is a HUGELY important step in the direction of healing!  =)

Another example was issues with my ovaries.  Not that these coincided with a specific life event, but I did notice that ovarian pain seemed connected to life patterns As the ovaries store our gametes, the seeds with which we can literally create life, Dr. Northrup explains that ovarian issues are associated with creative blockages.  Sure enough, I noticed that twinges of pain in my ovaries (at any time of month — it was’t just mittelschmerz) stopped once I started living in a way that embraced my creative impulses more fully.

On the other hand, there are some health issues that seem to have roots in something well beyond the scope of our conscious ability to draw connections.  For instance, spontaneous bruising on my legs in childhood (not related to any injuries or abuse).  A breast that developed half-missing; this was a genetic deformity and not a response to any current-life trauma (none applied) or lifestyle imbalance (I was so young when the problem started emerging, and born with the genes for this “blueprint.”).  So in such cases, consider that perhaps the reason why you can’t consciously draw connections is because the energetic imprint that has been expressing through your body actually has its roots in another life.

No need to freak out or get worried about this!  Clearly, your body IS processing those energies (still) without your conscious input.  And it can continue doing so, if need be.  But let’s not go too far down the past-life path right now.  More on that later — I promise!  Just come back in a few days for that part.

For now, just reflect:  what is your body telling you about the people who are in it?  How they are treating you?  The choices you might have been making — accidental or intentional — to reject or to subjugate aspects of yourself and/or your own needs?

More on energy healing in the coming post.

 

"Most of us do not take these situations as teachings. We automatically hate them. We run like crazy. We use all kinds of ways to escape — all addictions stem from this moment when we meet our edge and we just can’t stand it. We feel we have to soften it, pad it with something, and we become addicted to whatever it is that seems to ease the pain."
—  Pema Chödrön (via purplebuddhaproject)

Someone recently asked about karma — specifically, what it means to “clear” karma and how to clear karma with a person who won’t speak to you. This topic probably interests interest a broad range of people, so we’ll talk about what karma is, what karma isn’t, how it might work, how our souls might “make up for” old sleights, and, finally, how we can work through karma that is difficult.  I’ll break these topics up over the coming days.

This first post covers:

What is karma, what is karma not, and how might it work?

There are many definitions of karma.  As I see it though, karma has nothing to do with punishment or retribution.  So right there, you can drop a lot of fears about it!

I used to believe long ago that karma was “an eye for an eye,” and that anything unpleasant that I was experiencing must have been something I was “sentenced” to suffer as a way of making me atone for any parallel pains I might have inflicted on others (in this life or a previous one).

If you see things this way, drop that — karma is not about exchanging pain for pain, wound for wound.  Souls love — so what desire would ANY soul have for causing injury?  How would ANY soul expect that exchanging pain for pain would help to spread more love?

See how nonsensical that is?

More recently, I used to think then that karma was about dealing with any energetic “sh*t* we might’ve caused along the lifetimes.  Furthermore, I believed that we had an “obligation” to right this stuff, directly, and in a way commensurate to the degree of fear and pain we might have contributed to before.  I don’t see it that way anymore, but that perspective — the “making amends” perspective — is probably not uncommon and was at the core of more recent, misguided beliefs I used to have about what we were meant to do about karma and how to clear it.

Under my old, misguided perspectives, I came to believe that the only way to break out of the karmic cycle altogether was as simple as deciding that we had no more karma to clear — rejecting the idea that we had any further “obligations” of the spirit, rejecting idea that we were tied in any way to old wounds, etc.  This attitude of mine, however, was a reaction to notions of “indebtedness” that some teachers seem to convey when they talk about karma.  (These ideas no longer resonate with me.)

I see karma very differently now.  As I see it, karma is the phenomenon whereby our “vibration,” so to speak, appears reflected in our life experiences and circumstances.  That is, our fears and self-limiting patterns — and our freedom from fear and self-limiting patterns — would reflect in various areas of our lives to show us the kind of reality we are “creating” for ourselves through our current filter of consciousness.

An example:  A person who resorts to spreading malicious gossip (because they feel insecure, and having “dirt” on others and turning their social circle against selected individuals makes them feel more powerful and “valuable” — and less likely to be rejected — themselves) might find that they attract people and circumstances who reflect their own current bent for drama and divisiveness.  It may frustrate a gossip to keep attracting similarly malicious gossips into their own world.  In fact, the repeated appearance of other malicious gossips might even reinforce their sense of insecurity, their delusional, fear-based beliefs that no one can be trusted, that they are always in danger of being excluded or attacked, and so on.  And such a person might even eventually find themselves the target of malicious gossip (and, hence, end up experiencing exactly the social exclusion and attacks that they were fearing and hoping — by ostracizing others — to avoid).

But would these experiences constitute a “punishment?”  No.

They would just be an example of how the individual’s inner fears were creating an external reality to mirror the illusions they were clinging to.  Each successive experience would bring the individual closer and closer to “awakening” into a new, more loving, more liberating paradigm shift.

Karma serves you!  In ultimately helpful ways!  :)

In other words, karma has NOTHING to do with punishment or hard “obligation.”  It has to do with working through our own personal fears so we can step out of them and stop continuing to perpetuate their patterns.  What is the point of all this?  So we can live on a higher vibration, in greater love, joy, trust, peace, and freedom.

Got an ask recently about women’s health issues from a holistic perspective.  This is a HUGE topic.

… and I have decided I will take it on!

The ask went something like this:

I feel like I have blockages in my lower chakras.  I can feel something “off” there, but whenever I talk to my doctors, they find no structural problems there.  On the other hand, my periods are highly irregular, and I’ve had hormonal acne for many years.  My doctors want me to take birth control, but the side effects scare me, and, frankly, I don’t feel like taking the pill will solve the underlying problem.  I feel like all of these issues are related.  What are your thoughts on this?

Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.  I can relate to ALL of this, in various ways.  I’ve had a LOT of my own problems in this realm over the years, and I’m happy to share what I learned through all of this.  First though, I guess it would help if I actually gave you some examples of what I’m referring to when I say this.

Specifically, through most of my life (since puberty), I had a lot of feminine health issues too.  To summarize:

  • hemorrhaging and extreme irregularity with my periods
  • serious cramps (like, deep aches in my back and thighs, such that it hurt to walk)
  • hormonal acne (which was so PAINFUL, ugh!)
  • a deformed breast (I had surgery to even my breasts out when I was 21; one of them was just sort of half-missing from when it first started to grow, for no particular reason.)
  • unexplained excess weight (doctors couldn’t figure out why it piled on/wouldn’t disappear)
  • painful water retention
  • hormonal migraines
  • random pinches/aches in intimate areas (not caused by any infection)
  • spontaneous bruising on the hips/thighs since CHILDHOOD (not a strictly “women’s health” problem, but these are very intimate areas too)
  • … and even hair loss (which started around age 18 and has continued until now… but I’m optimistic that this is going to heal too, because I have received a lot of healing insights into the “roots” of this problem, no pun intended!).  

So that’s some background on what I was contending with — a vast gamut of hormonal and women’s health issues.  Thankfully, however, almost ALL of that has stopped, amazingly enough — and I haven’t been on hormones of any kind since I was 22.

So, what helped?

Because this is such a huge topic, I am going to post a series of pieces about this, a new one every couple days.

First, I will offer a summary of the various factors I found to be of immense relevance to my own healing process (and which I think are broadly applicable to most women).

Second, I will offer a series of posts wherein I share stories of how I learned these things, so you have some examples of practical ways in which these energetic processes might play out for guiding your own reflections.

After a few days of anecdotes (and a few days of you observing and reflecting and gathering insights about your own health situation!), I will return to the question of, “How can I fix this?”

Are you ready?

We’ll open by summarizing some relevant points to reflect on here.  My experience taught me that there is all of this to consider:

  • sexual traumas/external attacks on your sexuality or your gendered energies:  the body can store your pain/your self-rejection and will make you notice it so you can heal.

  • on a related note, people:  if you are being abused (in your role as daughter, sister, or girlfriend — in other words, being targeted for abuse heavily based on your identity or status as female or related to your own feminine energies), it is unlikely that you will remain as healthy as possible, because female health problems are very often the body’s way of urging us to recognize that our feminine energy is being disrespected in some way.

  • energy:  in addition to all we’re doing to try to stay healthy, are we taking time to heal ourselves on a purely energetic level?

  • diet and medications:  how much of the hormone in your system is your own?  Do you need that much, or do you think your body would benefit from some dietary omissions/substitutions that would allow it to find its own sex hormone equilibrium again?

  • sleep:  sleep is always important; if you’re sleep—deprived or your sleep cycle is irregular, remember the importance of regular sleep in restoring and repairing the body and maintaining a balance.

  • past lives:  if you’ve experienced gender violence of any form in a past life, this might be the root of some of your hormonal imbalances or other health issues in the present.  Consider exploring this, but also don’t put too much pressure on yourself to “remember” it or dismiss the importance of doing reflective work related to your current lifetime; you remember no less than you absolutely NEED to at any given point in time, and current-life soul-searching might still help you to a great degree.  But if you ARE aware of a past life marked by gender violence, you might benefit from reflecting on how those energies might still be playing out today and renewing your intention of healing it.

  • rejection of your own gendered energies:  again, if you’re rejecting (and that includes reacting with fear to) anything about your own gendered energies, it only makes sense that your hormones might be off-kilter.  Soul-search, once again, to figure out what your relationship is to yourself as an embodiment of gendered energies.

Check back over the coming days for (WAY) more in-depth posts on this (more stories, healing tips, etc.).  :)

Happy healing, everyone!

Peace and love,
Laura

You have to believe that your own healing serves the universal highest good. From there — miracles. And why, ever, to worry?

Response to an Anon who asked this:

My twin soul and I separated two months ago.  I want to be with other guys, but I feel guilty because I’m afraid of hurting my twin.

Understandable concern.

I’ve written before some months ago about my own personal journey with “moving on” and how I made my decisions about partnering with various men.  Even though my twin soul and I never had a relationship or even dated, I definitely experienced guilt on occasion in the past regarding decisions about new partners (which always confused me, considering my non-history with the guy).

In the end, I decided to tune into my heart; if there was a genuine affection or innocent enthusiasm that drew me toward another guy, I explored that.  If there was no affection or true enthusiasm (enthusiasm being a variant of joy — joy is generally a great intuitive signpost), I tended to abstain.  And once I’d done the personal reflection necessary in order to connect with the deepest emotions of mine that underlay the decision itself, if there was no genuine affection or joy/enthusiasm I was feeling for the man in question, my decision to abstain was less about any concerns about my connection with my twin soul, and more about me simply realizing. “Hm… on second thought, there is NOTHING compelling drawing me toward this man.  It would seem I’m not even actually interested.  Good to know!”

What you do with your body (with mutually consenting partners) is your choice.  Same with your dating life.  You will be at most peace with your decisions if you reflect on your motives.  There is no need to feel guilty, whichever way you choose.  But you can be more at peace if you examine your attractions and identify whether you have motives that feel personally “valid” to you; that is, motives that have nothing to do with making a statement to your twin.  And YOU decide what “valid” means and what constitutes a “valid” reason.

Further to all of this, if you’d like to read through how I’ve made my own such decisions in the past, this post is kind of lengthy but might help you:

Twin Souls:  hooking up with other people

Another thought for you to reflect on as well:  you say you’ve just separated two months ago.  As soon as you feel ready to “move on” (whatever that means to you), then that’s how soon you’re ready to move on.  Appreciate your single time though while you do have it without worrying that you have to jump immediately into other liaisons.  Single time is AMAZINGLY healing, clarifying, and helpful; when we don’t have another person in our lives to devote our attention to or distract ourselves by, we tend to learn quite intensively about ourselves.  In fact, it’s easy to get “lost in” a partner when we jump from commitment to commitment and end up, down the line, feeling like we’ve never had ample time to figure ourselves out, learn how to be comfortable with and nurture ourselves, identify what we want and what makes us feel fulfilled.

If you’re feeling drawn to a specific new guy because of who he is, that’s cool that the universe has sent you somebody compelling!  If you’re looking for new partners (nobody specific in mind) because you feel like two months has been enough time to work through any healing that does require alone time and now you’re ready for the kinds of personal growth opportunities that could only come through partnership, trust your instincts on that too and see where they lead you.  If you’re feeling like looking for a partner simply because you’re uncomfortable with being alone, however, maybe it would be worth your while to “challenge” that feeling by riding the solo time out a little longer and seeing what you discover?

Only you can identify your feelings here and know what’s best for you.  Just wanted to throw out a couple possibilities for reflection.  :)

Also realize that the decisions that feel to be in your highest good may not be the same decisions that your twin would make for himself — but it’s entirely possible (and normal, and healthy) for twin souls to walk distinct paths on their way back to the same place.  Furthermore, whatever is in your own highest good is still in the highest good of everyone else.  Because we are all One.

The bottom line is, you have no need to feel guilty, whichever way you choose.  Cherish both the chance to bond with a new partner and your own company — whichever you have while you have it.  :)

You will learn, grow, and heal in whatever ways your soul has been needing — quite naturally — and so will your twin.  <3

Peace and love,
Laura